Running From You Is One of My Best Defenses
by comicsans-spideydehaanfan
Summary: What if it had been Steve that had fallen off the bridge? What if the roles were reversed and Bucky was Captain America? When the Winter Soldier appears, how will they cope? Does Steve remember? Can Bucky keep himself together and help Cap-Steve remember? Whatever happens, Bucky will stay with him until the end of the line. Rated T for violence. Possible pairings but no slash.


**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Captain America or any of the characters... I just own this story._**  
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**_Note: _**This is my very first CA fanfic so please go easy on me. As indicated in the summary, this story is based off the idea of what would happen if Steve had fallen off the bridge instead of Bucky and the two roles were reversed. I'm not sure if anyone else has had this same idea, but I thought I'd give it a shot. Oh, the title of this story was inspired by Relient K's "I So Hate Consequences." I hope you guys enjoy it!

(PS. Not sure if any of you guys can tell, but I split the faces in my story cover. The one on the left is Buck and the right is Steve. Was a bit of a pain to photoshop but I think I did a decent job and hope you guys think the same.)

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><p><em>Run.<em>

Running. It was something he had found he was very good at lately. In fact… it was one of his best defenses.

_Just run._

He was ashamed of it. This wasn't something he would have done in the past.

_Run, run, run!_

But what choice did he have now?

_RUN!_

He never really had much of a choice…

_Keep running!_

Running. This was the only choice he could make willfully… Even _they_ couldn't stop him when he started.

_Don't stop running!_

It wasn't just running though. It was always running away.

_Never stop running._

He was a coward… and he would eventually be caught by _them _anyways. But for a few moments, he could run. He could have that glimpse of freedom. He could think what he wanted to think. He could… remember, regret. He wouldn't be their puppet for a few fleeting moments.

_Run, just run!_

His breaths were quickening from their sudden overuse, but he didn't stop. He needed to keep going. He needed to get as far as possible.

_Keep running! Don't stop!_

He forced himself to run faster despite the pain starting to shoot up his muscles from his overexertion. He couldn't afford to slow down. The further he ran, the further away _they_ would be… and the further away _he_ would be. Such a coward… and to think that _he_, _HE_ never considered him to be a coward. But that was back then. Back when he didn't realize that yes, running was cowardly… but then it was a better defense for him than taking the blows in this case. It was his escape, to hide from his regrets and, and the regrets he didn't want _him_ to have. No, _he_ didn't deserve that at all. This was for _his _safety.

_RUN!_

He glanced over his shoulder, regretting it as his tired limbs decided to crash right there. He stared up at the sky as he panted heavily. It reminded him of his younger days… when he could barely run for a minute due to his asthma.

My, had things changed.

Regret was building up inside him again.

_Get up! Run!_

He forced himself up, arms shaking. His lungs were screaming for air, reminding him again of his younger days. But he couldn't stop to think about those days or even stop running. He had to keep on going. He had to keep _him_ safe and _them_ away.

_You must run!_

He wasn't always like this, he thought sadly. He had never been such of a coward. Running away like this… No, back then he had been able to face things. But in these circumstances, he couldn't face things head on. He had to run.

_Run, run, run!_

He was finally on his feet again, stumbling along again.

It was too late to face things anyways. If he had planned to face things, he should have done it the very first day. But that hadn't been a possibility. _They_ knew that now. He had to run from _them_. But most of all, he had to run from _him_.

_RUN! RUN! RUN!_

He could never ever let _him_ find him, see him again. There would be too much pain, too much regret. _He _didn't deserve all that pain and regret. None of this was _his_ fault… so _he _shouldn't have to deal with his problems or anything else for that matter. _He_ just needed to stay safe.

_So, run._

What other choice did he have? He couldn't let _them_ find him again. Now that _they_ knew… who knows what would happen? He wasn't about to relive hell again.

_Just keep running… don't stop._

He had to run. It was against his usual standards... but now only one thing mattered.

No matter what, he couldn't hurt _him_ again. He had to keep on _running_.

_Just… run…_

The world was spinning as he kept stumbling along trying to keep running, but his body couldn't handle the strain anymore. He needed rest even if he was convinced he didn't.

Even super-humans need rest.

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><p><strong>Chapter One-Good to Go<strong>

_ Pow, pow, pow!_

The punching bag was receiving no mercy as it was being constantly pummeled by a pair of strong fists. Punch after punch assaulted the bag. If it had been a person, well, there wouldn't be much life left for the poor soul…

"You shouldn't be here," a female commented, watching the man resuming his punching.

The lone chain holding the punching bag creaked as the bag began to slow. The man had barely sensed her presence when she had entered only a few minutes ago. He was just surprised she hadn't spoken until now.

"I know."

The female crossed her arms as she leaned against the gym's doorway. "Yet you are still here."

"Yeah…" the man mumbled, staring at the now still punching bag.

"Why?"

"Do you even care, Natasha?" the man asked irritably. "They just sent you in because you can 'talk' to me." He emphasized _talk_ with finger quotes.

Natasha gave a slight roll of her eyes. "We all care for you, Cap."

"Do you?" he growled more than questioned as he attacked the bag once again. "You all say that. But do you really care? I've seen your faces… You guys pity me. Probably thinking stuff like 'poor guy must be rough adjusting to all this' or 'must be tough for him knowing all this now.' I'm not blind. I can see it." He gave the bag a hard punch, causing the chain to break and the bag to fall to the ground with a loud _thud!_ "I've had enough of it… that and being called 'Cap.' I never was Cap," he muttered under-breath.

Natasha ignored his little rant. "You shouldn't be here."

"So?" he turned his back towards her, assuming the conversation was coming to a close. She hadn't even responded to his explosion.

"You're not fully healed."

"So?" he repeated and turned back to face the red-head. "I needed to let off some steam…"

"There are better ways."

"Sure," he scoffed. "And you know plenty of ways, I'm sure."

A small smile tugged at her lips. "But of course."

"But I don't need 'em… this is the best way." He gave the bag a kick before wincing.

Okay, so maybe he had overdone it… just a little. Only a little, mind you! He was fine. He was super-human for crying out loud! Just a little sore…

She, on the other hand, did not look convinced.

"We're worried about you," she announced bluntly and straight to the point.

He snorted. "Sure… worried that things aren't quite all right up here, huh?" He tapped his head lightly with his pointer finger. His expression was stony. "It's perfectly all right. I know it was him… He knew exactly who he was! I'm all the way here and so is he! I wish you all would stop it! He is _not _the Winter Soldier! He's a _person_! Not a weapon! He's a living, _breathing_ human being! He's my _friend_! You guys have no idea what we went through! You just pity us and don't even see the _real_ him!"

The red-head sighed softly. "Buck, we're just trying to be realistic. Even if he has-supposedly-remembered, that does not explain things."

"It explains everything!" the brunette exploded. "He _remembers_. He _knows_ who he is. He _saved_ me! Why can't you guys understand it?!"

"Buck," Natasha said sternly. "He's not the man _you_ remember anymore. Perhaps he does remember who he once was, but that does not change who he is now. He is the Winter Soldier, Buck. You have to let him go."

Bucky glared at her. "I refuse."

"It's for the best."

"The best for him?" He narrowed his eyes. "Or best for you guys? You don't think I can handle it? Then fine." He straightened and strode past the red-head to grab his shield sitting beside the doors of the gym. "I… I q-quit."

He coughed hard and leaned against the doorway. His body was feeling it… Those stitches weren't going to hold, super-human or not.

Natasha was by his side in an instant, ready to support him despite his reluctance.

"Seriously… so stubborn."

"Nat," he growled softly, not wanting her help at all.

"No, Buck. I'm not going to stop until you get yourself straightened out!"

He let out a hiss of frustration as he hugged his ribs. "Natasha. I'm fine. Just needed to let off some steam… I'm sorry.

"You've only encouraged your steam." She gestured to the broken punching bag. "That was Thor's favorite you know."

Bucky smirked slightly before becoming serious again. "Nat, I'll be fine."

She sat down on the bag and faced him, obviously not convinced with his answer. "Talk."

"There's no need for an interrogation!"

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "If this was an interrogation, things would be a lot different, Cap."

He made a slight face as he rested against the wall in defeat. "Got me there…"

She nodded with satisfaction. "So then, why are you here?"

He found himself sighing. "I don't know… just didn't want to be around the others or stay in my room I guess."

"You're still not fully recovered," Natasha reminded him again as she scolded lightly.

Bucky shrugged. "I just couldn't stop thinking about him."

It was now Natasha's turn to sigh. "Cap-"

"Don't… just don't. I don't like you calling me that, and I know what you're going to say." He ran a hand through his hair shakily. "I know… I know. But, I can't just help hoping I'll find him."

Natasha sighed again but more softly. "Bucky… I know it hurts, but you just got to let go."

"You know, I'm serious about what I said earlier about quitting," he mumbled, changing the subject again.

"I know you were, but I'm sure you know that I won't let you off so easily and neither will the rest of us."

A small smirk tugged at his lips. "Yeah… I know you guys won't."

"So don't be stupid, Buck. Just leave things be and heal."

"If only it was that easy," he muttered bitterly. "I'll never be good to go again until I find him again."

Natasha let out another sigh. She had known things would probably end up like this… Trying to convince Bucky to give up was futile. Well, she could tell Tony that she had tried not like she really cared about reporting to the billionaire. She had done this more out of her care for the soldier she had grown to respect and love like a brother. She hadn't known him for that long… but she felt she knew him well enough to keep him from hurting himself. She couldn't let that happen. She loved him too much. She didn't want to lose another loved one.

And so…

"Hey, Bucky," she said softly.

"What?" he asked irritably. He was not happy to be back to being restricted to his room and bed. He had been hoping that since he had been able to convince that hospital to let him leave that he'd have some leeway about the tower… but noooo everyone was making sure he stayed to the doctor's orders. It had been a lucky moment for him to get into the gym. Though of course, his luck never lasted.

"Bucky?"

"I'm listenin'…"

Natasha gave a slight roll of her eyes. "Bucky..." She knew she was going to regret this decision later, but it was better than letting Bucky be reckless. "I'm going to help you."

Bucky raised an eyebrow ever so slightly. "Help me what?"

"Find Steve."


End file.
